I didn’t bring a bikini with me to Costa Rica. I brought a few bathing suits, but back in August when I packed for this trip it was still under a year since the twins were born and “bikini” was not in my vocabulary. Tamarindo is full of surfers and yogis so you can only imagine the tight bodies that flood the beaches and streets in this town. At first I only saw this body type walking around but slowly I started noticing all body types playing in the ocean, riding boards and wearing some of the cutest and supportive 2 piece suits I had ever seen – so I went out and bought myself one.
Anyone who knows me, knows that the beach is my Happy Place. Playing with the twins at the beach is like taking that Happy Place, putting it on Happy Island and making me Queen of Happy World – I love it THAT much. They love to explore and are curious about everything. They light up when we chase them, they can spend hours searching for shells and want to show us every one. They bounce and giggle as we lift them over the waves and if there is any music nearby they will stop and dance on the spot. They just want to play and they want J and I to play too.
The bikini was a symbol of confidence to me and between my post babies belly and lack of muscle strength I just wasn’t feeling it. It wasn’t until I actually wore the bikini that I started appreciating ways my body does work. This body can keep up with the twins all day long. It can pick them both up at the same time. It can float or swim in the ocean. I have a partner who loves to kiss and touch the parts of my body I avoid when I look in a mirror. When the twins see me, they see my smile. They feel my kisses and cuddles, not my muffin top or cellulite. I’m not saying that by wearing a bikini I have fallen in love with my body. I am saying that I am grateful to have a healthy body to put into a bikini in the first place.